My Daddy

My daddy passed over into Heaven on April 3, 2013.  His battle with Alzheimer’s disease was a short but steep, taking him from just forgetful to a man who had no idea who he was or who others were in just a matter of 4 years.  Well, let me correct that, he really didn’t get bad until the end, there were times of clarity even last month when I was there.  The last two weeks of his life were really the worst of it all.

He left this world a better place with his presence in it and he will be dearly missed by his wife and children.  Daddy would have been 77 on May 1, I am sure that is going to be a hard day for all of us, but I know our family will celebrate it in a special way.

His passing leaves a hole in our hearts and a I am often catching myself remembering things about him, mourning the loss in my life and yet celebrating his being made whole and healthy, celebrating that he is now in the arms of God, chatting with Jesus, dancing and singing with the angels.  It’s these thoughts that give me peace and joy that passes all understanding.

Daddy was a devoted husband to his wife, my mama, Margie.  He only had eyes for her and was in love after almost 60 years together.  He was an excellent, inventive, provider, protector, helper, and friend.  He loved his children fiercely.  He wanted our best try, not perfection, and he could always be counted on to listen to us and help us out of any situation.  Daddy was a giver.  If someone was in need he would give what he had, even if he had a  need for it himself.  He was a man who loved his family.  He was a mischievous brother, ornery, teasing, but all in love.  He loved being a grandpa.  Not only did he love the ones who were adopted into the family, but he truly believed that each of his granddaughters was the most beautiful ever born.  Daddy always had a twinkle in his eye, a smile on his face, and a laugh just below the surface.  He loved everyone around him.

Daddy showed us the love and justice of God.  He was a good example to us of how God loves us unconditionally and loves us enough to correct us when we had done something wrong.  Always showing us love even when we made some big mistakes.

Everyone who knew him is going to miss him.  My daddy loved nature, simple things, his family, all of creation, but more than that, the Creator Himself.  Even in his state of confusion, he didn’t lose his ability to pray.  Sometimes we were confused about what he was praying about, but he lifted the prayers up to a God who knew his heart.

I will miss you daddy, but I know you are in a better place, healed of infirmity and weakness of body and mind.  You are now where you can praise God is person, worship, and dance!

Related articles

• Memory Care program helps families cope with Alzheimer’s (stltoday.com)
• Bel Marra Health Reports on a New Study: Alzheimer’s Cases are Set to Triple by 2050 (prweb.com)

Espresso, Sweet, Intoxicating, Liquid

Torrefacto coffee beans (roasted with sugar) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

 

 

I’m officially addicted.  Not to the Starbucks, Coffee Bean, Peet’s varieties that the majority of us indulge in, no, I am addicted to the home-brew.  I’m addicted to the ritual, the  process, and the intoxicating fragrance.  The espresso that is brewed into the little glass is dark, sweet, no trace of bitterness to be found, and believe me, once you have made it for yourself, there really is no going back to the corner coffee shop.

 

After my visit to my sister, I was addicted.  I lay all the blame at her feet.  She had this lovely little machine, a coffee grinder, and a beautiful little frothing machine.  Grinding the beans fresh, tamping it into the portafilter, and pulling a shot.  There are endless possibilties for flavorings to add in, endless combinations of milk, cream, syrups, sauces.  Then the spice grinders for the top of your foam.  My sister gave me a grinder of cinnamon and one with cocoa beans and can sugar.  She also gave me a frother and a starter can of beans.  By the time I left for home I was truly addicted and I made sure to think of ways to convince Matthew that we needed our own machine.  We would save money by not going to Starbucks, we could be more  creative with our coffee.  Well, he let me buy the machine, the grinder and after the first cup he was hooked.  He’s addicted, completely addicted.

 

I’ve even used Starbucks coffee in my espresso and it’s completely different from what you get in store.  My favorite bean is Illy, however, at 15 dollars a can, you are defeating the purpose of home espresso.  For a real treat though, Illy can’t be beat.  Their tins are really beautiful too and have so many uses for storage.

 

My favorite latte, so far, is an orange flavored cup of love!  Two double shots of espresso swirled with a couple of teaspoons of sugar.  Then a foaming milk concoction of milk, half and half, and a 1/2 tsp of orange extract, a little bit of cinnamon ground over the top.  So yummy!!

 

My coffee consumption has decreased to two cups of coffee a day.  That is down from about 6 cups pre-espresso addiction.  I’m loving that!

 

Long Time No Blog

I haven’ blogged in quite some time and I didn’t even take the time to look at what my last blog was about. I’ve been concentrating on other things and nothing has come to mind to blog about. However, I like blogging and decided that I would give a short accounting of my whereabouts as of late.

I have become addicted to loom knitting and crochet. YouTube is a great resource for learning or relearning, in my case. This activity keeps me from binge snacking so it’s a good thing. Plus, it keeps my mind off of the obsessive thoughts and worries that continually plague me. I have been loom knitting beanies for most of Bean’s friends and for Bean.  I have been crocheting magic square potholders and today I followed my first real pattern and made a dishcloth. I can see many of those to follow and hopefully the next one won’t be quite as wonky and since I have learned to properly make a double crochet, the border on the next one will look better. This one isn’t too shabby though.

This one is pretty for spring and I think it will do nicely for scrubbing some dirty dishes.

Several weeks ago my sister called out of the blue and said that she had decided to move to where my parents are in NM from AZ, move in with them, and take care of them.  This decision came just as my brother and his wife were seeking someone to stay with my parents full time.  We had a time line all set and then a crisis moment hit.  All of the sudden my daddy, who was on a slow progression of Alzheimer’s, quickly descended into a new stage, worse than the last.  The stage of halucinations and imagination had taken over.  The situation was rather dire and so the time line was shifted.  Berry and I made the drive to AZ and helped my sister finish packing and then drove with her to NM.  When we arrived we realized just how desperate the situation was.  Berry and I were gone from CA for almost 3 weeks.  We all laughed, cried, and cursed together as adjustments were made for all of us.

My parents could imagine together and the next moment not know that they were even married to one another.  My mom’s condition had worsened to the point that a trip to the ER was made neccessary.  I’m not sure what the worst moment of the trip was, but I sure had my eyes opened to a whole new reality of what this disease does to one’s mind.  Don’t get me wrong, the trip was filled with many blessings.  One of which was getting to connect with my sister on a whole new level.  She is a wonderfully strong woman and determined to do the best for mama and daddy. 

It took me a full week to recover after the trip.  I was so exhausted, but I can’t complain, I came home to a reasonably sane environment and my sis is still there in what can be described as crazy land most days.  You never know what is going to be said or done from one moment to the next.  Sometimes the events will send you into uproarious laughter and the next moment you find yourself in tears, or body racking sobs.  The emotions are about as predictable as their actions.

So now I’m home and we have gotten back into the swing of home school routine, high school and it’s unending demands, my hubby’s work, and just life in general.  Daily I get reports from my sister and antedotes of what mama and daddy are up to.  Sometimes this includes pictures of their antics which often times just make me shake my head in wonder.  I’m going to close with my favorite story from our trip.

Daddy had been shaving until the week before we arrived.  He liked the process of shaving, the ritual if you will.  Well, it was obvious that he had forgotten how to shave.  He  would tell us that he was going to go in and shave and then return, unshaven, after a long absence.  So, one Saturday morning I decided to take him to a local barber for a shave and a haircut.  We arrived and Daddy sat in the chair.  The nice young man gave him a nice short haircut and then began shaving.  He cleaned up his eyebrows, trimmed the hair growing from his ears and nose, and trimmed the beard and then lathered him up for a close shave.  Daddy had his eyes closed when the young man was done and as the chair was put into it’s upright postion Daddy exclaimed, “I can’t see anything!”  I chuckled and the two young men stiffled their laughter.  I said, “well daddy, that’s because your eyes are closed, you can open them now.”  He smiled and said, “Well, that explains why I can’t see anything.”  Yep, that would do it!

2012 in review

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

600 people reached the top of Mt. Everest in 2012. This blog got about 5,100 views in 2012. If every person who reached the top of Mt. Everest viewed this blog, it would have taken 9 years to get that many views.

Click here to see the complete report.

Examining My Heart

Seeing a huge group of teens laughing, having fun, eating, playing, singing…that was a good way to spend the evening.  Now the mess to clean up after, not so much, but I don’t even mind, it was a joy to experience the smiles and hugs and love that filled the back yard and the house.  I don’t even miss the sleep that I missed.  Plus, my daughter has this boyfriend who makes it a priority to help around the house and make things easier on us.  I think he enjoys the food so much that he wants to make sure I don’t stop feeding him .  I’m still thinking about a nickname for him.

After yesterday’s tragedy in Connecticut, it was a joy to see a bunch of happy kids.  I didn’t hear about the shooting until I got home yesterday evening.  It was a day of rushing around and fighting Christmas crowds and traffic, preparing for that group of kids.  I’m blessed to have had that experience, especially in light of the loss so many parents and children were experiencing yesterday and in the weeks to come.

In the midst of all the chatter, the conversation turned to the shooting and I heard something that gave me a moment for pause.  One of the boys in the group said that he just couldn’t feel anything about it because it seems that there is a school shooting every week.

I know that there aren’t that number of shootings, however, what he said struck me.  I felt pain in my heart, I lifted up prayers for comfort for this community, and then…well, I guess I know what he was talking about.  It seems that we face so much tragedy each day that it is desensitizing us.  Sure, I saw all the posts on Facebook, I know that it was something that everyone gave pause to, but I wonder how many of us are like this young man? Unable to feel anything about it because it happens so much.  Isn’t that a tragedy in itself?

I often question my heart and how I respond to the evil that is roaming this earth and then wise friends remind me that all I can do is pray for those effected, but that I still have a life to live, children to raise, a Savior to serve.  So giving pause to examine my heart this morning, making sure I am not being desensitized to the evil in this world, and remembering the hope that I have been given and learning how to spread that hope to others.

 

Snow Ball Wreath

With our white Christmas tree this year I was in the mood for a snowy theme throughout the house.  Starting at the front door with our wreath.  The one that inspired me was made from pom-poms.  Finding really nice fluffy ones was quite the task.  So as I was piddling around Michael’s I spotted a bin full of multi-sized styrofoam balls.  I knew that I had a wreath base at home so I picked up several large, medium, small, and extra small balls and some pretty wired ribbon.  If I had thought I would have wrapped the base with white ribbon or painted it, however, I wasn’t thinking and I began sticking on balls with the hot glue gun.  I spaced the large ones around the base and then filled in all the spaces with the other three sizes.  Then I made a beautiful bow, hot glued it on, and wired it to the front screen.  So easy to make and such a pretty effect!

Baked Hammy Mac and Cheese

I received a recipe for Old Fashioned Mac and Cheese but after looking it over I knew that my family would like it a lot better if I added some of my special touches.  So I tweaked it and served it and it was amazing!

Baked Hammy Mac and Cheese

1 lb elbow macaroni, cooked to al dente

4 Tbls butter

2 Tbls flour

2 cups milk

1 small onion minced

salt and pepper to taste

1/4 lb processed cheese (like Velveeta) cubed

1/4 lb shredded cheddar cheese

1/4 lb shredded Swiss cheese

1 package Julienne ham

Preheat the oven to 350° and prepare a 9×13 pan with a little bit of cooking spray.  In a small sauce pan melt 4 tbls butter and saute the minced onion in it.  Add the 2 tbls flour and stir with a whisk until the paste is a light tan.  Add 2 cups of milk and whisk together until smooth.  Bring to a boil and cook 1 minute.  Set it aside.  When the pasta is ready, drain it and place half of it in the baking dish.  Layer on half of the cheeses and half of the ham.  Sprinkle on salt and pepper.  Repeat layers of pasta, cheese and ham, then pour the white sauce over the top, season again with the salt and pepper.  Divide 2 tbls butter and dot over the top, cover with foil and bake for 45 minutes, remove the foil and bake about 10 minutes more.

Enjoy!