There are just certain things that we can’t see with our eyes. We can’t see a person’s character. We can’t see how a person’s heart is hurting, we can’t see their intentions.
Something happened to Bean that shook her up. It normally takes a lot to rock her, this was just too much. I’m not positive about how strong she felt returning to school. Pretty sure that strep throat took a lot out of her. To top that off, the antibiotic that she is on is knocking off the effects of her hormone therapy. This is causing some strange premenstrual symptoms.
I had to be somewhere right after picking her up from school. I picked her up and dropped her off so that she could go to Starbucks, it’s about a block to our house from there. She was in a wonderful mood after school. She went to Starbucks, hollered a “thank you” as she went out the door and started walking home. From our neighborhood Starbucks there are two routes to go home. Bean was very aware of her surroundings. Martial arts taught her well, as well as us constantly drilling it into her head to be aware. She was carrying her notebook and a textbook as well as a bag on her shoulder, and her coffee. She saw a man, mid to late 30′s, tattooed, bald, Hispanic. He was sitting on a wall that runs along the side-walk. She was taking the route that would allow her to cross at a light protected cross walk, instead of the one up the road that no one really takes notice of. She was walking along, and said that God put the feeling in her soul that she should walk the more narrow path to go to the corner. She obeyed. She said that this man didn’t look threatening, he didn’t strike her as odd. There was nothing, by looking at him, that set her on edge. God, saw his heart, and put an odd feeling into Bean that made her feel wary.
Bean is highly offended, as all women should be, about being objectified. The way a woman dresses, her make-up, hair style, body shape, none of that is cause for a man to objectify a woman. She and I have had our share of it since moving here. We have heard cat calls while walking down the street in Long Beach. We have heard it in the mall. The keyword being “we”. I wasn’t there this time.
This man called after her, “Hey sweetness what’s up?” At first she was just angry and even thought about calling out a very rude reply. She said her voice froze. The thought came to mind that speaking out could very well set him off. She continued to walk, arrived at the corner, and pushed the button on the light. Fear took over the anger.
You know the feeling that you get when someone is staring at you? She had that feeling, turned to look and he had moved position to stare at her. She pushed the button again and moved to the left to hide behind a pole. Scenarios of what she would do if he approached flew through her mind. Then more sinister thoughts of people who had actually been raped and attacked came to her mind. She started to lose her grip, tears filled her eyes. She said it felt like forever before the light changed. She had claimed control of her emotions but when she was finally on base and headed up our street, she started to lose control again. Not knowing where her sister was, she quickly gained control again and approached the house. The door was locked, she couldn’t get to her key, she was about to drop all of her stuff…Panic and fear had overtaken her.
The entire scenario reminds me that Satan is hard at work to cause us fear, hold us in fear, and he uses willing participants to do that. All I know is that she will not be making that trek alone anytime soon. Who knows if that corner is a regular hang out for the guy or not. I just can’t allow that to happen to her again. It also reminds me that we constantly have to have situational awareness. We also have to remember who we belong to. We are sealed by the Holy Spirit. Bad things may happen to us and around us, but we have to remember that no matter what, we cannot be destroyed. God is on our side, if He is for us, who can be against us?
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