A Day

This has been one of those days that I don’t need to repeat, not ever!  I woke up very early and couldn’t go back to sleep.  My feet felt better, but still tight.  The blisters on the balls of my feet are the size of half dollars and while the swelling is down and the ache nit as deep, they are still achy.  I got out of bed to move very slowly through my routine.  Hobbling is not a great time saver.  I was expecting the Orkin man at 10 and had to get a lot of things ready for his arrival.  I didn’t know if he was spraying or fogging.  We picked up the house, emptied the washer, dishwasher, cleaned up each room, and waited.  The cat carriers were lined up and waiting to stuff a cat into.  In the meantime Trouble climbed on the entertainment center and promptly fell from it.  Scared me to death because he fell behind in a five-inch space.  He wouldn’t come to me, I couldn’t see him, and he wasn’t making a sound.  I was finally able to get him out by having Heather shake a bag like it was treat time.  Big lummox.
The Orkin man was over an hour late.  We packed up the cats and headed for the vets office.  I was told it would be $18.00, turns out that was for each cat.  Oh well better than spending five hours listening to them yowl in their carriers.
Berry and I had lunch, got her haircut, returned her clothes, and drove to the high school to pick up Bean.
The dermatologist is happy with the results of Accutane so far, and Bean will be continuing the treatment.  I can’t believe the difference in her skin from a month ago.
When we picked up the kitties we found that Roly was indeed an unhappy boy.  He had not played well with others and had to be separated from Trouble and Mochi.  The Siamese brothers loved being together and were lively sleepy boys.  We learned that we will not be able to board them for vacation.  Tilt does not like being confined.
We picked up Aloha and came home to see that our new bed had arrived.  Matthew and I ordered it last week and I could hardly believe my eyes when I saw it had been delivered.  We had time for a quick dinner, a quick hello good-bye to Matthew and off again.  I’m typing this on my phone, sitting in a parking lot, waiting to be a taxi again.  The bed will welcome me tonight and I will be happy to fall into it.
By the way, do you think all  this rap music and loud bass is damaging our kids brains?  I think it’s damaging mine!
P.S. forgive the formatting, bad grammar, and spelling errors. Posting from my phone gives random results.

Putting Away the Rules of Men

I am not sure if this is just for me to vocalize so that I can feel it more deeply and put it to practice in my thoughts and life or if I feel so burdened because I am meant to share it for others benefit.  I am going with the I need to share it.  If that gets rid of my burden I will know I did the right thing.

I have been wrapped up in always trying to do the right thing, being “good” according to the instruction of the church or bible teacher, according to other Jesus followers, or those who are going down that same path, all wrapped up in being perfect.  Then if you misstep you are drowned in guilt, shame, and condemnation.  Even if it’s a private screw up, beating up on yourself because now you aren’t good enough to be a child of God.

Does that sound ridiculous to anyone else?  It is, it is beyond ridiculous.  If that is the way that Jesus intended us to live, in constant condemnation of other believers and ourselves He would have been all over giving the Pharisees praise for their lives.  He would have patted them on the back and high-fived them, telling them how great they were.  That is ridiculous!!  Instead Jesus told them they that were like a pit of vipers and when they were about to stone a woman for sin He told them that they might as well be stoning themselves. (Joann paraphrasing)

On Sunday, I told my family that it was okay if they thought I was crazy.  Then yesterday morning I had to explain to my daughter why anointing each doorway and praying in each room wasn’t weird or odd.  It’s okay for her to think that it’s weird, she hasn’t been raised in this way, neither was I.  But  I blessed this house and prayed for protection over its inhabitants and blessing for anyone who enters its doors.  If that is odd, okay, so be it.  I DON’T CARE!  I know that there were at least three gathered as I prayed over the house and I was so excited to know that those prayers honored God.  I gave Him an invitation to fill this house!

I am done worrying about whether I follow denominational rules.  I will follow the precepts laid forth from God’s word and I will live with the power that He has given all believers.  I will live in the fullness of what He has put before me and not be afraid of pleasing you or Bob down the street.

If we live our lives in fear of what others are going to think and whether we will be judged by others, we are giving our enemy an opening to cut our legs out from under us.  The only one we need to fear is the One and Only.  If we are living our lives in a way that pleases Him and in a way that invites Him to lead every action then we are doing what we are called to do.  That doesn’t leave any room for the rules of man.

Healed, Delivered, Changed

There is something spiritual about standing on a beach and allowing the sand to wash from under your feet.  As you stand there you realize that you could quickly become washed away in the experience.  Actually more like buried up to your neck if you stand there long enough.  Stagnancy is like that.  Before you know it you are buried up to your neck because you haven’t been moving.

I stood there long enough to have enough sand wash out from below my feet that the top of my feet were covered.  There are two things that can happen with that, either you panic and fall as the sand is washed away, or you get lost in the experience and just continue to sink.  Isn’t that a great picture of sin.  Either we get lost in the process until we again, are buried, or we panic and fall down at the feet of Jesus so that He can raise us back up.

My next thought was the washing of the water.  As the water lapped at my feet I thought about the washing of my spirit.  God’s washing.  Taking all that junk and washing it out in the ocean, burying it on the ocean floor.

I can’t swim.  I have tried to learn but I have a fear of water and I can’t get passed that fear.  I can be in the water but I never quite feel comfortable in it.  Over the past week I have had a lot of thoughts about water.  I had come home and woke up Sunday morning to see my light house picture.  It looked like the entire scene was under water and in the water there was a wonderful Light.  I wanted to walk right in there.  I felt the feeling of freedom.  If I walked into that water I would be free, able to breathe, bathed in light, taken care of, loved.  It was really amazing.

Being out in that water on the beach started a process in me.  It’s a good process.  It’s a process that has been a long time coming.  Not only is it a process of healing, it’s a process of washing a lot of old stuff out of my life.  It’s taking a lot of wrong motives, wrong thoughts, wrong doctrine, and removing it from my mind, heart, and soul.  The scales are being lifted not only from my eyes but from my heart.

Today, God continued a thought when I heard a song.  William McDowell, I Won’t Go Back.  This is how I feel.

Free Indeed

Last week I was incredibly blessed to be able to travel to Florida and spend time with people who I have only had the pleasure of getting to know on-line through a blog group.  Even the two women that I “knew” I really didn’t know until this group came to be.  It was a gathering of women who were specifically chosen by God, the time was ordained and anointed by the Holy Spirit.  You may ask how I know that and I would tell you that this thing had the finger prints of God all over it and we felt the Holy Spirit, all of us did.

I went to this gathering with a lot of selfish motives.  I went as a person in need.  I went as a pilgrim.  I walked away with new understanding, healing, direction, and joy.

We broke bread together, shared a lot of coffee and wine, and embarked upon adventure.  Deeper adventure than a trip to the beach or an art gallery, adventure that involved our souls, our hearts.

I left a lot of fear behind me, a lot of it was washed out to sea.  There were words spoken into me that the ladies really had no clue were speaking so loudly to my heart and soul.  I was blessed to be able to drop some heavy loads and heartbreak.  God began a good work on this trip, a good work that I know He will be faithful to finish.

I was blown away by how well this group fit together.  We are all so uniquely created and have so many qualities that you wouldn’t think that we could all mesh so well, and yet, when God is in it, it works.

We are all on very specific journeys, side journeys that converge to the main journey.  They are all deeply personal, and there are some aspects that could frighten us into immobility and yet all of us left with a lot to ponder, chew on, and process.  As I process I hope to share more about what I learned, but some of it may never be shared publicly.  Other things will be shared because I know a lot of people who are held in bondage by the rules of man, and not being freed by the grace of God.  There were a lot of shackles removed from me.

I knew that this trip was going to be deeply spiritual.  I knew it was going to be loads of fun.  I had no idea going in what it would mean going forward.  Blessing beyond blessing.  Getting to know these women in the flesh has completed a picture that I had from getting to know their hearts first.  I think that all of us felt that and going forward there will be an even tighter bond with all of us.  As I read each of their experiences of this past week I can imagine their laughter while remembering the funny moments, I can see their faces as they think things through.  That is something I will treasure.  I felt a little melancholy Sunday morning as I drank my coffee alone without the conversation and laughter.  Then my family was up and around and I was filled with the excitement of the new beginning.

“Your Great Name”

This morning, all weekend, the enemy has tried to thwart something great that God has planned for several of my friends and myself.  Two of us have had children come down with odd illness.  My Berry has had a headache and tummy trouble since Friday.  Bean woke up this morning and was getting ready for school and suddenly got sick.  Needless to say she stayed home with me today.  My Texan friend’s daughter also became ill and then her hubby woke up not feeling well.  We all have been determined to pray over it all and we are still planning on getting on planes tomorrow to arrive in Florida by the evening.  This morning our fearless hostess declared that we let go of all anxiety.  I declared that anxiety and fear must flee at the sound of Jesus name.  I got into the car to run to the store for last-minute items and Natalie Grant was singing “Your Great Name”.  What a beautiful confirmation directly from my Father God that He is still in control and there is nothing to fear!